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Navigating the Ego:  Handling Narcissistic Clients in Dog Grooming

Updated: Feb 24


A culture of narcissism
Coping with difficult clients.



In the dog and pet grooming industry, Groomer Nation celebrates the incredible talent and dedication of groomers who do so much more than just groom. We are compassionate listeners, providing a supportive ear to our clients. We serve as counsellors to our clients, offering guidance and comfort. We are keen observers, attentively identifying changes in the pets we groom and communicating these observations to their owners. We are educators, sharing our knowledge on proper grooming and care. And, of course, we are masterful stylists, transforming our furry clients into well-groomed, happy pets. Our role is rich and varied, and each day brings new opportunities to positively impact the lives of both pets and their owners. At Groomer Nation, we recognise the importance of not only managing various breeds and grooming challenges but also navigating the diverse personalities of our human clients. Navigating clients with narcissistic tendencies, in particular, requires a different approach. We are committed to empowering groomers with the tools and knowledge to handle these situations with grace and professionalism.



The Rise of Narcissism


Narcissism is on the rise in today's society, a trend that poses unique challenges across various industries, including dog and pet grooming, where professionals increasingly encounter narcissistic behaviour in their clientele. Research suggests that narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent due to factors such as social media influence, cultural shifts towards individualism, changes in parenting styles, economic uncertainty, and the glorification of celebrities who exhibit narcissistic traits. At Groomer Nation, we recognise the struggles of every day life, running a business and the importance of self care when groomers are facing these challenges.


Recognising Narcissistic Traits in Clients


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Narcissistic individuals often exhibit a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. In a grooming salon or mobile grooming setting, this might manifest as clients who demand special treatment, criticise your work excessively, or are unreasonably difficult to please. The importance of recognising these traits early on to prepare for potential challenges is important for your business and you. 



Examples of Possible Narcissistic Traits and Behaviours


1. Excessive Complaints About Previous Groomers: Constant criticism of previous groomers and insistence that no one has met their standards.

2. Denial of Responsibility for Pet's Condition: A client insists that the matting of their dog's fur is not their fault, refusing to take any responsibility and instead blaming the groomer for the issue.

3. Manipulative Behaviour: Attempting to manipulate you into providing extra services for free or at a discounted rate.

4. Lack of Empathy: Indifference to the stress or discomfort their demands might cause you or their pet.

5. Rage or Aggression When Criticised: Reacting with disproportionate anger or aggression when faced with mild criticism.

6. Unrealistic Expectations for Their Pet's Appearance: Insisting on a grooming style not suitable for their dog's breed or coat type.

7. Publicly Belittling Your Skills: Criticising your grooming skills in front of other customers or on social media.

8. Overstepping Boundaries: Showing up unannounced for services or demanding immediate attention.

9. Using Guilt as a Manipulation Tool: Trying to guilt-trip you into providing extra services or discounts.

10. Refusal to Pay for Services Rendered: Refusing to pay the agreed price after receiving grooming services, claiming the service was unsatisfactory even when the groom was done well.


The examples provided in this article are for illustrative purposes only. Groomer Nation recommends consulting with a qualified professional for a comprehensive understanding and accurate diagnosis of any behavioural concerns.


Strategies for Dealing with Narcissistic Clients


1. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish and communicate clear policies regarding appointments, cancellations, time frames, business hours, matted dogs, elderly dogs and pricing just to name a few. Narcissistic clients may try to push these boundaries, so it's crucial to remain firm and consistent.

2. Maintain Professionalism: Stay calm and professional, even when faced with criticism or unreasonable demands. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, as this can escalate the situation.

3. Manage Expectations: Clearly communicate what services you can provide and what the client can expect. This can help prevent misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.

4. Focus on the Positive: Highlight the positive aspects of the grooming session and the care you're providing for their pet. Narcissistic clients often respond well to praise and positive reinforcement.

5. Know When to Say No. If a client's demands become unreasonable or their behaviour is consistently problematic, it may be necessary to respectfully decline their business. Remember, as a groomer, your well-being and the integrity of your work are paramount. Whether you own the business or are an employee, it's important to recognise that not every client is the right fit. If you're an employee and encounter a challenging client, don't hesitate to express your concerns to your boss.


According to reports from mental health professionals narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex condition characterised by a range of symptoms that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Individuals with NPD often exhibit grandiosity, a sense of self-importance, and fantasies of success, perfection, or power. They may also have a deep-seated belief in their own uniqueness and specialness, accompanied by a constant need for admiration and praise. Other symptoms include a sense of entitlement, a tendency to exploit others for personal gain, low empathy, and feelings of envy, jealousy, and distrust. Additionally, arrogance, haughtiness, and scorn are common traits in those with NPD. Only a qualified psychologist should diagnose narcissism, as traits like self-centeredness or insensitivity can be present in various psychological profiles, not just narcissism


Remember, behind every challenging client, there might be a story of trauma influencing their behaviour. Approaching these situations with compassion and empathy not only elevates your professionalism but also showcases your strength of character. When faced with insults or negativity, strive to leave them at the door of your workplace. You're too important to carry these burdens home to your loved ones. Often, these individuals may not realise the impact of their words and, surprisingly, can become some of your most loyal clients. On the otherhand trust your instincts, if the client is not a right fit for your business its ok to say no to further appointments and never forget that you deserve respect and kindness in every interaction.


Navigating narcissistic clients in the dog grooming industry requires a delicate balance of empathy, firm boundaries, and clear communication. While it's essential to understand that narcissistic behaviour often stems from insecurity and a need for validation, protecting yourself as a groomer is equally important. Developing strong communication skills and maintaining a professional demeanour are key to managing these interactions effectively. Remember, it's okay to say no when faced with unreasonable demands or disrespectful behaviour.


At Groomer Nation, we understand the importance of self-preservation in this industry, we are committed to equip you with valuable insights and information to navigate these challenges effectively. Your dedication to the pets you groom is a testament to your compassion and care. As you navigate the complexities of our profession, know that your efforts are valued and appreciated, and that taking care of yourself is just as important as the care you provide to your clients.


Until Next Time, Keep Grooming with Passion, Love and Compassion!



For further reading and a deeper understanding of narcissism, here are some recommended books:

1. ["It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/688839/its-not-you-by-dr-ramani-durvasula/)

2. ["Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula](https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Go-Surviving-Narcissist/dp/1618688782)

3. ["Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists" by Dr. Craig Malkin](https://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Narcissism-Secret-Recognizing-Narcissists/dp/0062348108)

4. ["Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed" by Wendy T. Behary](https://www.amazon.com/Disarming-Narcissist-Surviving-Thriving-Self-Absorbed/dp/1608827607)

5. ["The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family" by Eleanor D. Payson](https://www.amazon.com/Wizard-Oz-Other-Narcissists-Relationship/dp/0972072837)




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